The Panic Attack That Changed My Life

I still remember sitting in a little conference room on the 59th floor of my midtown office, having a perfectly civilized discussion about some set of deliverables with my boss and co-workers, and having the distinct feeling of suddenly and desperately wanting to run, screaming out of that stuffy room.

It wasn’t until later that I realized that feeling was panic—true and unadulterated anxiety and fear.

What I felt was raw powerlessness.

Years later, this is such a stark contrast from how I am today.

And I find it so interesting that people now tend to describe my presence as “grounded” when years ago, it was the absolute opposite.

What changed?

Long story short—I stopped normalizing fear.

We live in a society that is so deeply infused with foreboding that we don’t even notice it. We accept it as a regular part of our culture.

We yell warnings at children.

We get admonitions from well-meaning-but-living-in-fear-themselves loved ones.  

We consume media designed to keep us in a perpetual state of fearfulness and call it “entertainment.”

But isn’t is really containment?

Made to suppress the True Self?

Because when the true self is repressed, we become easier to control.

And we consume things to soothe the disconnection from our own light . . .

But when we laden ourselves with the weight of fleeting pleasures, we’re left feeling empty and numb.

And we return to a baseline of fear.

That creeping voice that asks, “Will I ever be good enough?”

“What if they really see me?”

“What if I’m laughed at and / or rejected?”

It’s no small feat to overcome that creeping voice…

But it can be done.

We begin when we let go.

Let go.

Let go.

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